Parodies
by BanditChick
Summary: 5 parodies up. Relena Bashing. 1. "In The End" 2. "I'm A B*tch" 3. "Without Me" 4. "Don't Speak" 5. "Bye Bye Bye"
1. "In The End" --Linkin Park

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam wing or nothing like that.

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IN THE END

Heero winced at the knock on the door. "Gee I wonder who it is" he muttered. "Come in!"

Heero was relieved to see Duo walk through the door. "What's wrong, Heeeeero?" Duo asked noticing Heero's unrelaxed look. Heero said nothing. Duo plopped down on the couch next to Heero. 

"Relena?" he asked. Heero closed his eyes tightly and gave Duo an evil glare. "Whoops, I mean, She who's name shall not be mentioned in this household." Duo chuckled at his own 

words. This just awarded him another glare and a sigh. Duo blinked when he heard music to Linkin Park's "In The End" 

"You know this is that damn writer again," Duo said crossing his arms looking at Heero.

(Author: Muahahahahahahahaha! Ahahahahahahaha!)

Heero nodded, and then Duo went with the first line…  
  
~Duo~

It start's with one..

~Heero~

One shot, I don't know why  
It doesn't even matter how hard I try  
Losin' my mind, I do not lie,  
Relena does not die.

  
~Duo & Heero~

All I know

~Heero~  
Is that that girl can not sing  
And she'd find me if she had to use wings  
I promise to kill her by the end of the day  
But she won't go away,

~Duo & Heero~

She's so unreal

~Heero~  
No one care's 'bout the ho  
I think she should go right out the window  
Will she get gone? I didn't wanna show  
But I wasted it all just so

~Duo & Heero~

I could go

  
Believe me killing I tried and even though I hide, she and me can't part  
What she meant to me isn't exactly a good memory because that 

~Heero & Duo~

I tried so hard

And got so far,

But In The End,

I couldn't even kill her.

She will not fall,

She always calls,

And In the End, 

I couldn't even kill her  


~Heero~

One thing, I will not lie

It oesn't even matter how hard you try  
'Lena don't die, makes me wanna cry  
Jus' cause that slut won't fry  


~Duo & Heero~

I tried so hard

~Heero~  
To kill off Relena 'cause she's stalking me  
Tryin' to make me her property  
She checks anywhere that I could possibly be

I'm surprised she 

  
~Duo & Heero~

checked gay bars

~Heero~  
Things aren't the way they were before  
You wouldn't hardly recognize her anymore  
She's got weirder than back then  
And it all just haunts me more  


~Duo & Heero~

In the end

~Heero~  
Believe me killing I tried and even though I hide, she and me can't part  
What she meant to me isn't exactly a good memory because that 

~Duo & Heero~

I tried so hard

And got so far,

But In The End,

I couldn't even kill her.

She will not fall,

She always calls,

And In the End, 

I couldn't even kill her

~Heero~  
I lost my trust in her  
She follow me where I must go  
Cause of this  
There's only one thing should know

****

I lost my trust in her!  
She follow me where I must go!  
Cause of this,  
There's only one thing should know!

~Duo & Heero~

I tried so hard

And got so far,

But In The End,

I couldn't even kill her.

She will not fall,

She always calls,

And In the End, 

I couldn't even kill her

****

Duo sighed in relief as the song ended. Heero took out a gun from underneath the couch and headed toward the door. "Going to find, Relena?" Duo asked. "No" Heeo replied. 

"Then who?" 

"That damned writer." 

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Kristi: Hey, Want more parodies? Now you can request a song, the characters, the coupling, and all that good stuff. Just review with your request! 

  



	2. "I'm A Bitch" --Merideth Brookes

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam wing or nothing like that.

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Kristi: Hold on Heero! I can explain!

Heero: *narrows his eyes still holding the gun to her head.*

Kristi: *picks up paper and pen and writes for a second then Heero appears on a couch with Duo.* *grins mischievously then looks at the readers* Enjoy, I know I will. 

__On The Couch___

Heero and Duo shuddered as they saw Relena peer through the window, and shuddered even more when they heard the song "I'm a Bitch" by Meredith Brookes start to play.   


"Curse that writer…" Duo says

*The two stand from the couch.*

~Heero~

I hate Relena's ways,  
Won't stop following me  
I wish that she would change  
Tried to kill her  
But she looks at me like maybe  
I might love her underneath  
Like I might be sweet…

~Duo~  
Yesterday I tried  
Once again but see  
She went and the bitch lied.  
Told me she would buy me ice cream, I was used  
I won't lie to you  
She tries to get everything  
All in peace she won.  
  
She's a bitch, She's a player  
She's a whore, So don't date her  
She likes Winner and Wufei  
She's not even ashamed!  
She's like hell, but more mean  
She's a bad FFX fiend  
and nobody wants to touch her anyway  


*Out the window…*

~Relena~  
I found Heero again  
Only prob is that  
He's commited some sins  


Rest assured that  
When I start to make him nervous  
and I'm spreadin' the whip cream  
I'll get him to change  
And I'll really make scream!  


*Now Heero and Duo stand on a stage, with a huge roaring audience…*  
~Heero~

She's a Bitch, she's the devil

Who would move, to her level?

She's a down right bitchy whore…

~Duo~

You've mentioned that before

No matter what you do

She's gonna follow you

Unless you kill her before it's way too late

~Heero~  
Just when you think, that she's gone, and you can go  
The season's already changing.

~Duo~  
I think it's cool, she's always around you  
And doesn't try to chase me.  
  
She's a bitch, She's a player  
She's a whore, So don't date her  
She likes Winner and Wufei  
She's not even ashamed!  
She'll always follow you,  
She smells like doggie poo  
and nobody wants to touch her anyway

  
* The stage transforms into the house, and Heero and Duo are back in front of the couch only now Relena stands in front of Heero….*

~Heero~  
You're a bitch, You have fleas  
I'll kill you, you can not plead  
You will hurt, and you'll suffer  
You messed with me undercover  
You're to dumb, you will die  
Don't even ask me why  
You know that you know the answer anyway.

*Music ends and Heero gets ready to shoot Relena, before Relena disappears…*

__Somewhere in Kristi's house___

Relena: You saved me!

Kristi: That's what you think. *writes something down*

Relena: *screeches as she's chased by 42 elves with green outfits that incluse hats and feathers*

Kristi: Run my elves! Run! Muahahahahahaha Oh, *looks at the readers* Ok, I'd like to thank all the people who reviewed. I LOVE YOU! Anyway, the request offer is still on the table for those who want to take it. I hope you enjoyed this parody! Now, I'd like to make a note of a few things..

Kristi's note of a few things: I want to thank my sister, Jackie. Not only does she inspire me, but she's the reason I know about Gundam Wing, and any other anime. Love ya, Jackie. I urge all you readers to check out her stories!

Jackie's stories: Jackie's pen name is Krazy Edward. She's written…

Gundam Queen- GW song parodies to Queen songs (Very Funny!)

Gundam Confusical- GW a lot of Kiddie parodies (Very Funny!)

Jackie's Gundam Wing Interviews- Jackie interviews the G-boys (Extreme funnyness!)

Bra Sitting- This one's DBZ, and it's hilaaaaarious! About Vegeta sitting 4 year old Bra.

We've written together…

Bishonen Interviews- This is us interviewing all our favorite bishies (Just read it! It's funny!!!)

Ditsy- A song parody to the song "Blurry" by Puddle of Mud

Anime Report - Behind the Scenes of Gundam Wing- Very funny look at Gundam wing, Behind the scenes.

Kristi: Ok guys, that's my sister's work PLEASE check it out, just search for it on fanfiction.net k? And PLEASE review, maybe request? Thanks for reading!

Mini-Elves: *runs across screen carrying screaming Relena*


	3. "Without Me" --Eminem

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Disclaimer: Sorry, don't own it

Quick Author's Note: When it says Linkin Park, it means the place, not band… yea just noting. 

Without You

__

G-Gurl/ Kristi person.

Relena had called Heero's house and got no answer. Immediately she had gone in panic and called Duo, Trowa, Quatre, Wufei, Sally, Noin, Hilde, just everyone! Not one person could tell her where he was. "I have got to find him! What if he's hurt? What if he's with a woman?!?!?" She had only been chased by Mini-elves for about an hour, he couldn't have gotten but so far!

(Kristi: I think he could have. Muahahahahahaha *continues writing*)

Relena stepped out the door "HEEEEEEEERRRRROOOO!!!" she called. She jumped when someone tapped her shoulder, and grinned when she saw it was Heero. "Let's take this inside" Heero told her. Relena blushed and stepped in closing the door behind her, but then frowned when music to "Without Me" by Eminem began to play..

*Heero Sings*

Went to Linkin Park so that I could hide.

That I could hide, that I could hide.

Went to Linkin Park so that I could hide.

That I could hide, that I could hide.

Now I'm back, back again   
Since I'm back, It's the end.  
Now I'm back, Now I'm back,   
Now I'm back Now I'm back

Now I'm back Now I'm back…   
  
You created a monster, 

Cuz nobody wants to you live no more 

They want death, and maybe liquor.

  
Well if they want death, 

then this is what I'll give 'em,  
A little bit of me rippin ur liver   
Some muscles that will rip up your heart quicker   
Then a rock when it's sharpened and you bicker   
And the Dr. won't bother operating   
When you're shocking the man when not cooperating "Hey"   
You never took time to start concentrating   
You were wack, Like on crack, now for suffocating  
I know you got a job Ms. 'Lena  
But your pacifism's just complicating  


So I'm killin' you, And since you're coo coo   
No one will no who to point the blame to  
They'll try to arrest me now for killin' too  
But it feels a lot better, Without you.   


So don't give me lip, don't get you're whips   
Fuck that, won't work it. You'd have to lick me in bits. 

And get ready cuz this is what I've mark pay day  
And Une's not in the way, "Fuck you, Laday!!"   
  
Now this looks like a job for me   
Would everybody, like to come see?   
We're gonna finally, kill her hee hee   
Now what would you do with out me.

I said

Now this looks like a job for me   
Would everybody, like to come see?   
We're gonna finally, kill her hee hee   
Now what would you do without me.  
  
  
Many rebellions, all kids are hellions  
Enjoyin' that their parents listen to Elvis   
The job you're doin' makes those kids helpless   
So I'm on a mission to end your life, Bitch!  
A visionary, vision is scary, could start a revolution   
'Cept no one likes you anyway  
So let me just kill and wave  
In the fact that I got everyone kissing my ass   
Cuz I finally, Ended Relena P.   
Now do you see so damn much how I don't like you Re?   
Since I'm back dun na na na na na na na na 

Kick your ass, ya sinna  
Tune ya in and then I'm gonna enter 

Into the front of your skin like a splinter   
The center of pacifism's leavin' for the winter   
It's interesting, it's better then wrestling   
Resting in the ground you'll get testing

Testing "Attention Please"   
Feel the tension soon as someone mentions me   
Here's my 10 cents my 2 cents is free   
A nuisance, you sent, you went for me..   
  
Now let's see just what I can do   
Would everybody, like to see me end you   
We're gonna kill, can you guess who?  
The world would just be better, without you  
  
*The music scratches as Heero shoots Relena and she falls to the floor.*

"Goodbye, Relena" he said before walking out of the house, closing the door behind himself.

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Kristi: Ok Sylver Secret, That one was for you. I'm sorry I didn't finish the song, Rap like that is hard as hell to parody!!! But I tried, thanks for all the reviews. Thanks so very much. I hope I'll get some more request, I'll try harder next time and hey! You have to cheer that I kill Relena, right? Right? Oh you know you love me for it ^__^


	4. "Don't Speak" -- No Doubt

Heero stepped into a church, he had been called up by Duo to meet him there but there was no sign of him… just Relena… with a gun??? "I though you were dead" Heero muttered stepping closer. "I've been waiting for you" she told him. Heero raised a brow, then music to "Don't Speak" No Doubt came on. "Curses" Relena muttered. 

Relena begins to sing..

~Relena~

You and me  
We could've been together  
Everyday together, Always  
I really feel  
That I'm losing a boyfriend  
I can't believe  
This could be the end  


It looks as though I'll let you go  
Too bad it's real  
I liked you lots, you know  


*Duo steps out in front of Heero*

~Duo~  
Don't shoot!  
I hear just what you're singin'

I hear the phone ringin'  
Don't shoot him in a church!

*Quatre steps beside Duo*  
~Quatre~

Don't shoot!

I don't know what you're thinking  
Thought you had pacifist reasons,  
Don't shoot him cause it hurts!

  
*Heero steps from behind them*

~Heero~  
Our memories  
Guess their not real exciting  
But if you shoot me now their gone be

Frightening

*Wufei steps in front of Heero*

~Wufei~  
If he dies, then you and I  
With the knife in my hands

I'll make you cry

*Sally Po steps in front of Wufei*

~Sally Po??~

Don't Shoot!  
Or you're gonna be payin'  
I'll get a super saiyan,  
Don't shoot him or you'll hurt!

*Trowa steps in front of Sally*

~Trowa~

Don't shoot!  
Dot dot dot dot dot thinking

Dot dot dot dot dot reasons

Dot dot dot it would hurt!  


*Heero steps back from behind them and now holding a gun aimed at Relena, Relena drops her own*  
~Heero~

You are ending  
There will be no mending, to your scars...  


You and me, I can see you dying...hee hee  


*Relena gets down on her knees begging*

~Relena~

Don't shoot!  
I know just why you want to

But you must know I love you!  
Don't shoot me or I'll hurt!

~Heero~  
Don't speak  
I know what you're thinking  
"He'll put the gun down, I'll leave him"   
Sorry, but that won't work!  
Sorry, but that won't work!  
I know what you're saying  
So please stop explaining  


~Relena~  
Don't shoot!  
Don't shoot!  
Don't shoot!  
oh I know what you're thinking  
How come we can't reason?  
It could be good  
I bet you're good  
I know you're real good  
Oh, la la la la la la 

La la la la la la

Don't, Don't, oh oh   
Come on darlin' Hush, hush darlin'

Come on  
Don't shoot me or I'll hurt  
Come on darlin' Hush, hush darlin'

Come on  
Don't shoot me or I'll hurt  


Heero was about to pull the trigger when Quatre pulled it out of his hands. "No, you've already killed her once! You can't shoot her again! At least not in a church!!!" he exclaimed. Relena snickered evilly then stood up "Quatre, you're such a good good person." she smiled at him and patted his head. Relena poked Heero's nose "We'll meet again" she said evilly before wgoing into an evil "Muahahahaha" and leaving in a dust of smoke.

"Oh that was so fake! She so fell through a secret hole somewhere." Duo said examining the floor after the smoke cleared. "You guys have fun?" asks a voice from the door of the church. They all turn to see the perfect most cutest, most coolest, most funnest, most sweetest, most nicest writer in the world, Kristi. "Did ya?" she asks. Heero starts to run toward her but he's grabbed by Sally, Quatre, Wufei, Duo and Trowa. Kristi writes herself out of there. 

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Kristi: Well, I hope that was fun for you too. The pilots all had fun ^_^ Oh the next chapter "Bye Bye Bye" I wrote in my old name Anime-Gurl2000 and I wanted to add it on to this. Have you seen my sister's parodies yet? Anyway after "Bye Bye Bye" I think I might rest with the Relena bashing just for a little while. C'mon guys! Review! Review! Request! Review! ~_o


	5. "Bye Bye Bye"-- Nstink, err, Nsync

Disclaimer: *singing in Bye Bye Bye tune* I, don't own Gundam Wing, or, Any song by Nsync, so, let me just say I don't wanna be sued. 

AN: I took this from my old name Anime-Gurl2000 and put it here in my new name, k? k. Oh and I changed a few things but it's basically the same. 

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Quatre, Wufei, Heero, Trowa, and Duo line up on stage in front of Relena. Their all dressed in extremely nsuckish outfits. Rashid starts up music to Nsync "Bye Bye Bye" and the G-boys begin to do the original dances.

~All~

Hey Hey, 

Die Die Die

Die Die

Die Die,

~Heero~

I'm killin' you tonight

You, Probably wish that you could fight

I, know that this is right

Hey Relena, Fuck off

I, Hate it when you breath

So, You must die this week

And, maybe you will see

That I hate your guts

I know you wish you were my whore, 

I don't know why,

You think I can take some more

Please just Die Die Die

Don't wanna have to load my gun

I should probably warn you that you need to run

You may love me,

But it ain't no lie

Now you Die Die Die

I'm tired of your weakling ass

I don't wanna hear it, you should leave real fast

You may want me,

But it ain't no lie, 

Now you Die Die Die

All that I have to do

Is, shoot the gun pointed at you

So, Tell me why I shouldn't

Relena Come on

~Quatre~

I, live to bring us peace

And, Now I've finally seen

That, Life would be more peaceful

With you gone

~Duo~

I know that you tried to do more, 

To help us out,

But you only got in the way

With Your big fat mouth

~Heero~

Don't wanna have to load my gun

I should probably warn you that you need to run

You may love me,

But it ain't no lie

Now you Die Die Die

I'm tired of your weakling ass

I don't wanna hear it, you should leave real fast

You may want me,

But it ain't no lie, 

Now you Die Die Die

~All But Heero~

I think its time that you say bye, 

We don't want you living, Cause its time to die

(Die Die)

He's got it now

He's going off

Now he's gonna pull the trigger

Cause we've had enough

~Heero~

I don't wanna hear your shit

Thats enough of it

~All again~

Now it ain't no lie, Die Die

~Heero~

Die Die Die

~All~

I don't want it to be long

So lets get it on

Now Rele-na time to die

Heero shoots Relena and she dies for the second time! ^__^

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Kristi: HEY! What did you do that for? I wasn't done!

Heero: Yes you were, I'm sick of these gay ass dances and clothes

Kristi: Fair enough, Anyway I think I'll leave Relena dead this time.. Or heck I might have her come back with a vengence song, maybe I'll actually LET her get with Heero! I'm not sure yet, but unless 10 reviews tell me to keep bashing Relena I think I'll stop it for justa while. 


End file.
